Adventures In FRIGGEN Shopping

Everyone who knows me knows that I LOVE LOVE LOVE to go shopping for Jacob. I have my favorite hot spots such as Gymboree, Baby Gap, & The Children’s Place where I can find a lot of cute outfits for Jacob – I have to say that I’m addicted to shopping probably because I have nothing else to do with my time. Anyways, the other day (Thursday November 9th) to be exact, I headed off to the mall with my Circle of Friends Coupon in hand – super excited to score some great deals at gymboree.

I was able to find ALL the things I wanted in stock AND in Jacob’s size – gosh this day was going friggen perfect! I never have that kind of luck. So I was off to check out Baby Gap to check out some of their newer lines and hit the clearance rack. Here’s where My Adventure’s in “FRIGGEN” shopping earns it’s FRIGGEN!! I’m standing looking at the clearance rack, sorting through items trying to figure out if there’s anything there in Jacob’s size – then this woman sort of pushes her way in front of me – at this point I could have said something to her – told her off- opened a can of whoop ass on her – but the role modeling mother in me told me not to….so I backed off to let her have a look and I started looking at another rack nearby.

At this point Jacob had awakened from his nap and was crying for food – so I pull out the can of ready to feed Enfamil A+ and I notice the woman who had pushed in front of me at the sales rack (who was a very thin Asian woman wearing a bubblegum pink juicy couture velor sweat suit with her louis vuitton purse hanging over her arm – did I say very thin? I’m talking no boobs, no arse, nothing but straightness from head to toe)..ugg sorry got distracted there….anyways I noticed her STARING at me while I prepared Jacob’s bottle – WHAT THE HECK LADY – go away…I gave you my DIBS on the sales rack!

So….I continued to pour out Jacob’s formula (a 5 ounce bottle) and this woman was STARING at me, then at Jacob, then at the can of formula, then back to me, back to jacob, back to the can (you get the picture)….then she say’s: “How old is he?” and I say happily: “HE’S FIVE MONTHS OLD TODAY!!”…she responds with a worried confused face “hmmmmm”…then she turns her attention to the can I am holding my hand and says….”are you feeding him condensed carnation milk?”….WHAT THE HECK LADY GET AWAY FROM ME….politely with an annoyed smile I say….”no, it’s called baby formula”….so she looks at me, then back at Jacob, then back at me, and says and I quote “hmmppphhh well it must be genetics”…..

EXCUSE ME…..

WAIT….

BACK THAT THING UP….

Did that skinny lil thing just say what I thought she said……whatever….

I turned to her with a nasty look and said (and remember I don’t swear a lot) ” You’re a BITCH and I’m betting that’s not genetic”….then my friend pulled me away and said let’s get out of here….it took everything in my power not to slap that primped little turd right across the face….

YES I’m overweight…..no MY baby is not – he’s a FRIGGEN baby for crying out loud….to all the people in the world that want to make comments….here’s what I have to say…

DON’T….

Have you ever heard of “if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all?”….like c’mon people….just because one parent is overweight…it does not mean their child is going to be overweight – sure if that person introduces their child to unhealthy eating habits – it’s possible…but FOR CRYING OUT LOUD….get a life…

That brings me to another issue…

FAT PEOPLE EXIST…yes they do people….the next time you want to stare at me or anyone else when they get on the bus or walk down the street….remember if you do …I’m going to stare back at you because you’re ugly or ignorant or whatever….

Is the world just a giant HIGHSCHOOL? I thought I left all this idiocy behind me….GROW UP or start wearing my sons pampers…..your choice…

2 thoughts on “Adventures In FRIGGEN Shopping

  1. Hi! I’m Cinfy from JM and I love reading your adventures.

    As a plus-size mom myself, I feel like sometimes people stare at my son and just wonder how fat he will be. But, I try not to let it bother me.

    I’m going to try my hardest not to let other people judge me and him when they see us.

    I never would have said anything to that woman – I’d be too scared. I’m glad you said something.

    It would have been nice for you to bonk her over the head with your diaper bag. That might have knocked some sense into her. 🙂

  2. I would have bonked her over the head with my diaper bag but I was too afraid I might have killed her when the impact of a heavy diaper bag hit her 87 pound frame.

    Ha!

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