Tonight we were giving Jacob a bath – playing games and splashing in the water with him like we always do…but tonight was different. Jacob found treasure in the water! The Family Jewel’s! Yes folks its true – it seems our son has discovered that he has a penis. In fact he thought it was quite hilarious that he found this so called penis under the water. He would reach down grab at it, laugh his head off, and then pull his hand out of the water like he was saying TA DA! Then with a laugh he’d dunk his hand back in the water, find the jewels again, and TA DA us all over again. Boys! I always knew the day would come when the penis would be intriguing to Jacob..I just didn’t expect it so soon! I should have known!

Boys will be Boys.

Today Jacob took his first steps – looking very much like a sailor leaving a pub late at night after having far too many pints of beer. We had not been expecting it as Jacob always seems so unsure and unsteady on his feet – but he is a child full of surprises….this much we are certain. He stood there in front of me for maybe a couple seconds or so, sort of looking at me like why am I standing here and why are you not holding me? Then he just put one foot in front of the other and took about 3-4 steps towards me before falling onto his toosh. I shrieked with excitement and probably caused him to fall onto his toosh but I couldn’t help myself….it was so unexpected and exciting. Jacob just seemed to shrug it off like – yea I’m cool and I know it. We tried to get him to do it again but he just was not interested. A short while later he did it again – even later in the day he wowed us a third time. I’m still pretty sure that he’s going to take his time before taking off in a full trot but my bet is that he’s a full time walker by the time he’s 15 months old.

YAY Jacob. You go boy!

After over a month, maybe more of torturing the poor kid….

The pearly white finally poked itself through today! I’m sure another one is right around the corner.

Now Jacob will not be the one year old with two tiny little bottomers.

Yes I know bottomers is not a word. I made it up…and I like it.

Four years ago on June 9th my uncle Dan died in his sleep. His death was sudden and unexpected. I was really affected by his death – he was like a father to me my entire life when a relationship with my own father was non-existent. His death was heart wrenching and every year on the anniversary of his death I experienced the sadness of his loss from this world. I miss him a whole lot.

Last year I was pregnant with Jacob and due to give birth to him sometime in the second week of July. While we had not chosen a first name we knew without a doubt that he would have the middle name of my uncle – Daniel. It was very shocking and overwhelming for us on June 6th when we learned that I was to have an emergency induction of labor due to low amniotic fluid. My induction was lengthy – most people who go into an induction have a baby in their arms no more then 24 hours later. When the 6th, turned into the 7th, and the 7th into the 8th….It occurred to me…that the next day would be the 9th of June – the day my uncle unexpectedly was taken from my life and the lives of other family members. I started to worry for my grandmother – the mother of my late uncle Dan – and I was concerned that if Jacob was born on the 9th it would be too hard for people to be happy. Mike and I talked about this at length as my labor continued for another 24 hours into the 9th day of June….and then…

At 7:03 p.m. on Friday June 9th …Mr. J acob Daniel was born by emergency c-section. My grandmother – whom I was the most concerned about reported that we had made a bad day good again. I felt this too. We had reclaimed the 9th day of the sixth month as day of happiness again. The sadness will always linger…the memories of my uncle Dan will always be close to my heart…but fate aligned it this way – that Jacob Daniel would be born on the day the Man he is named after died. My induction and delivery was long, painful, exhausting, and many other things…but the fear of what was happening was eased by this thought that my uncle was there with us….helping us along.

June 9th….

What a day for our family.

How much is too much to share on the internet?

Have you ever really thought about it? It’s really come to my attention recently perhaps because I have found myself reading posts from people on some of my online communities that seem so “out there” to me. How much would you vent? How much financial information would you share? When does sharing struggles and woes from your life become an annoyance for other people? How do you know if people genuinely are interested in your thoughts, feelings, explanations, and life stories…or if they’re just saying nice things because “it’s the nice thing to do”. Honestly….I’ve thought about these questions a while now and they are just now really sinking deeper for me.

I’m sort of an anxious personality. I prefer to have fewer good trustworthy friends then a whole bunch of friends that I can’t trust or who would just talk nice to my face and criticize me behind my back. So…how much of the “everybody’s your friend” attitude of the online world is real? When you make a post on a message board, a blog, a forum….and you get 20 responses…are those 20 responses regurgitated answers? How many of those responses are spewed out just because it’s the “nice thing to do”.

Here’s what I think about the whole situation – after pondering it for a bit and comparing it to my own actions on the net. I can usually tell who the people are who genuinely seem interested in my life – their responses are thoughtful and their questions are inquisitive. These are the people who share more happiness then frustration so that when they do post about something tragic, sad, frustrating, etc…you know that they are definitely experiencing a situation that warrants a response.

But what of the people…who are constant complainers? What of the people who day after day share the woes of their tragic lives with everyone on the boards….do you think they are lonely? Looking for attention and not sure how to get it? do you think that they really have such crappy lives that everyday they have something crappy to report about it? My gut instinct is to think that it is impossible for a life to be filled with so much shit that there is not an ounce of light to be found anywhere….

Even in the darkest, most depressing days of my life….I could still find something in my life to be thankful and joyful about…perhaps it was a friend who was just there to listen…or a funny comic strip in a newspaper…

Here’s what I have to say I suppose…I’m not sure where any of this came from. The above statements are not brought on by any person in particular from any of the online communities I frequent…but…I suppose I just don’t understand…why say anything at all if you have nothing nice to say? And in that sense…why say something nice if you really don’t mean it?

I’m confused by my own post…are you too?

That crazy zoo song that use to play on the TV all the time got in my head and I couldn’t get it out. It just kept repeating itself over and over again in my head….mocking me with it’s happiness and annoyances – “We’re going to the ZOO ZOO ZOO…you can come TOO TOO TOO..cus we’re going to the ZOO ZOO ZOO!!”. And so…yesterday…we went to the Zoo. It was much more entertaining then the song.

I think as Jacob gets older and we have one MAYBE two more children (doubtful) we might consider getting a yearly membership. There was so much to do and I completely didn’t know that it was open year round. In Toronto we have the THIRD biggest zoo in the world. It’s awesome…..I was slightly saddened by the overall surroundings at the zoo – the footprints were so dull and the paint was wearing off; It’s clear the zoo needs some funding to do some major repair.

We seemed to walk around the zoo for hours. It was A LOT of fun seeing all the animals and almost every single one of them was outside on display. The best of the day was the baby cheetahs and baby orangutans. It was fun to just spend time together as a family and with Jacob’s godparents Lisa and Jim. Jacob got to spend some time walking around on his Daddy’s shoulders which he thought was super cool.
We all started the day thinking it would be just average temperatures but by mid-morning it was very hot; luckily Mommy remembered to grab some shorts for Jacob so he didn’t have to spend the day in jeans! Smart thinking Mommy! We paid extra money to ride the zoomobile around the zoo during those times when our feet seem so tired that they were dragging! It was fun but trust me the tour guides on these things needs some serious work on their comedy.

We took tons of pictures of the animals but I’ll post my favourite animal of the day! The elephant! I could watch the elephants all day long – they just seem so amazing to me! GIANT! One of the elephants took a pee and a dunk in front of us – the urine was shooting out of it like perhaps a dam had been broken. It was both exciting and creepy at the same time. Perhaps the grand finale of the whole thing was the big dunk splashing into the giant puddle. I imagine if anyone was close at that exact moment it would be a very disturbing situation.

Overall, the trip to the zoo was pretty good. I was worried I wasn’t going to enjoy it as much as I have in the past – but this was not the case. It was great to hang out with family and just spend the day watching and learning.

Who knows what the summer may bring. Perhaps we will find ourselves at the zoo again….then we might kick ourselves for not purchasing the annual pass. So…I’m giving a shout out to the Toronto Zoo….if you’re ever in town..check it out! It looks like it could seriously use some funds!

I’m giving myself a blogging award.

It’s called the – always wanna blog but keep forgetting to do it award.

I graciously accept the award….and look forward to much more recognition in this blogging award category.

It’s midnight….

Sleep is eluding me.

How lame is that?

Maybe I’ll go read trash magazines and discover that Brittney Spears is pregnant because she was a surrogate mother to Anna Nicole’s embryo – but because Anna died Britt doesn’t know who the daddy is. Or maybe it will be more lame crap about how Paris Hilton was supposed to go to jail for 45 days for DUI’s but now she’s not cus she’s rich and famous. Right…

I so need to go to bed.

Boy do I ever.

I am amazed by the things that Jacob does. On a daily basis I find myself wowed at something he has done that stands out to me as something I would have never guessed he could do.

Just a moment ago he did something so intriguing to me. For Christmas Jacob received the Fisher Price Laugh and Learn home that has a variety features about it. One of the many exciting things the Home offers is a radio box that plays a variety of songs. The home has been situated in our living room since Christmas and Jacob has played with the various buttons and actions that it can do. I never thought much about it…when he was 7 months old he could figure out how to open and close the window…and by 7.5 months he would crawl over to it and perform this task when we said “up….down” (which is what the sounds on the home say when you open and close the window). I know this sounds very boring to you…but it was interesting to us as new parents….but this is not the reason I am writing this entry. Just a moment ago….Jacob was sitting on the floor pulling cards out of my wallet as he occasionally enjoys doing…and I said out loud “It’s bumper to bumper on the rainbow bridge” which is the start of one of the songs that the radio box plays. Well wouldn’t you know it….but…..Jacob crawled over and pushed the button that played that song. I was amazed that 1. he could recognize the song I started singing and connect it to the Home and then 2. crawl over and start the song by pushing the right button. It’s overwhelming to think of how fast he is learning…everyday must bring new thoughts and ideas to him.

Another thing that is amazing me is his ability to use the sign language we have been teaching him. I will admit that in the beginning I was really skeptical of this whole idea – that infants could learn to communicate through sign language but it seems that our work in this area has paid off. Jacob can sign for “more” food which has also helped him to say the actual word “more” and he can sign for “milk” although he’d do this all day if we’d let him. We are also using the signs for Mommy, Daddy, Eat, Sleep, Milk, and Diaper although we don’t use them as often as we should. I honestly hope that we will have all of these signs accomplished to help us through those difficult toddler days when we can’t understand what is going on for him.

Anyways I’m sitting here in the sweltering heat and the laptop is getting hot so I think it needs a break. This is me….Melissa…signing off.

I took this picture last week of Jacob. I thought that perhaps he was being sneaky and going to try and creep up on me to scare me but nope! It was just the making of a really big fart…toot… Whatever you want to call it.