Wonder

There is not much wonder left in the world. Children are becoming more selfish and self absorbed for a variety of reasons and its difficult to imagine that we could possibly attempt to do something different with our child. Someone said to us the other day if you buy too much for Jacob for Christmas, there will come a day when he will unwrap his presents….look up at you and say “that’s it?”. I’d like to beleive that this won’t be the case with Jacob – I’d like to beleive that we are raising him to be gracious. I’d like to believe a time won’t come when Jacob will say with disappointment “is that it?” Is that too much to hope for? Why does everyone always say “yea right!” when you make statements like the ones I just made? Is it uncomprehensible that someone could hope for more for their child?

Wonder was present in our home tonight. It entered in a quiet enthusiastic way that I had never experienced before – or maybe it has been here before but I’ve somehow missed it; that is the complexity of life. Jacob went to visit my mother today while Mike and I shifted furniture around to make space for our huge 7.5 foot Christmas tree. It’s such a beautiful tree – we’ve had it for three years now, paid a pretty penny for it – and haven’t regretted it once! Well we put up a variety of other decorations as well and then left to pick up Jacob at 4pm from my mother’s before heading off to my father’s for dinner.

We got home at about 730 P.M and Mike snuck into the apartment before Jacob and I to turn on the tree lights and make sure all the remaining lights in the house were turned off. I pushed open the door and let Jacob in and immediately his eyes were captured by the huge tree in the corner of our living room….he moved slowly as if mesmorized towards the tree and then just stood there staring at it. His eyes were magical…shimmering…on fire with life and excitement and….Wonder…..he sighed a deep Ohhhhhh….and then reached out to touch the tree intrigued most likely about where it came from, or what it was doing in the middle of his living room. He just stared and his eyes just sparkled and the three of us – we just enjoyed the moment together…Jacob in wonder of the tree…and us parents…in wonder of our son and his shimmering eyes.

You Better Watch Out…..

You better not shout, you better not pout I’m telling you why….

Santa Claus is coming to TOWN! Yesterday was the Toronto Santa Claus Parade which is an annual event here in the big T.O.! We decided to bundle ourselves up perhaps a bit too much since the weather was unseasonable warm) and head down via the good old red rocket!

The crowds were insane but the air had the character of family, of togetherness, and of fun. We got there early enough to score curb side seats and have a slice of pizza before the festivities began. Jacob got the opportunity to run up an down Bloor street like a crazy man trying to get the older kids to play with him – unfortunately they found him to be more of an interferance then a play time companion! About 15 minutes before the parade began of course ….Jacob fell asleep! He woke up about halfway through the parade and sat with Mommy, Daddy and Nan to enjoy the fun and excitement.
Of course Jacob wanted to run down and give giant hugs to all the gingerbread men, walking christmas trees, and celebrity clowns but we being the meanie parents that we are felt he was safest in our lap – we envisionned him marching down Bloor street with the parade participants and bands! We anxiously awaited the arrival of the Man with the Bag – Santa!
He arrived with him usual excitement and the children around us cheered with happiness and glee – Jacob on the other hand spoted the school bus coming up behind Santa and shouted BUS! It was cute and fun and a great family day!

My Mikey……Bubbly

I’ve been awake for a while now
You’ve got me feeling like a child now


Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts at my toes makes me crinkle my nose
Where ever it goes I always know

That you make me smile
please stay for a while now
Just take your time where ever you go


The rain is falling on my window pane
But we are hiding in a safer place

Under covers staying dry and warm
You give me feelings that I adore


It starts at my toes make me crinkle my nose
Where ever it goes I always know


That you make me smile
Please stay for awhile now
Just take your time wherever you go


But what am I gonna say
When you make me feel this way
I just…mmmmmmmm

It starts at my toes makes me crinkle my nose
Where ever it goes I always know
That you make me smile

Please stay for awhile now
Just take your time
Where ever you go


I’ve been a sleep for awhile now
You tuck me in just like a child now


Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I’m comfortable enough to feel your warmth


It starts in my soul and I lose all control
When you kiss my nose the feeling shows
‘Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time now
holding me tight

Dear Santa….

We’re about to celebrate Jacob’s Second Christmas – the first one was good and fun but I have a feeling that this one is going to be GREAT. Jacob will have a bit more awareness then the Christmas past and it will be fun to see him on Christmas with all his family and friends. We’re going to the Santa Claus Parade this coming weekend and as tradition has it here in Toronto – Santa’s special Canada Post helpers will be on hand collecting those precious letters for dear old Saint Nick. In honor of that Jacob, Daddy and I created a special letter and picture just for Santa so that Jacob can bring it to the parade and the special helpers can delivery to the man up North!

Word has it that Santa likes to write little boys and girls back from all the way up north so we had to include our return address which we removed for picture purposes through the power of window’s paint program. We used festive green and red and Jacob picked some stickers from my scrap booking album especially for his letter.


We cant’ wait to receive our letter back from Santa! Santa’s website said not to include any cookies or treats in the envelope (to save them for Christmas Eve) but it said that Santa LOVES pictures drawn by little children so Jacob took the markers and created this masterpiece!


We sure hope Santa likes it! Maybe he’ll hang it up so all the elves can see!

Peas and Carrots – A 30th Birthday Party


Today was my best friend’s 30th birthday. It’s hard to imagine that we’re entering this new part of our lives – 3o year olds. Where has the time gone? It seems like just yesterday we were 5 or 6 years old and eating ice cream cake while playing barbies. Gone are the days of slumber parties and potato chips – they seem so distant now….well except for the potato chips.

I hold onto the fond memories from our childhood like they are sacred – because maybe if I let go of them for a minute too long…someone might snatch them up from beneath me. I sometimes imagine that we’re kids again – carefree and together like we were every weekend – it was just us and we didn’t have a worry in the world (despite the abundance of hidden issues going on in both our lives)…together we could be us – peas and carrots. That’s what we were – peas and carrots. We couldn’t have been more different and yet we were so much the same – as children and now as adults. I consider Lisa my best friend – perhaps my only TRUE friend in the world – true friendship is that which can stand the test of time, the test of reality, the test of struggles and triumphs….true friendship is what we have and what we have always had…it is what I hope we still have 30 years from now.

Our friendship has evolved from kid to teen to adult and now to mothers. Peas and carrots I tell you. I like to think that I fill a need in her life as she fills a need in mine….and even though I have to share her best friendship with other people – I find comfort in knowing that her other “best” people or friends – are starting to find friendship in me. I find happiness in knowing that she as my best friend could have a million other best friends too…and I will still be one of the best – and she will always be best to me. I’d like to say we’ve evolved from best to sister – after all we’ve been through. I hope she knows that every day…no matter what she is on my mind and that every time I think of her it is with fondness and appreciation for who she is….for what she is……for what she represents to me.

I am not the best person when it comes to phone chat – I rarely pick up the phone without a specific purpose in mind and maybe I need to get better about that – but when I am able to get together with her I feel like even if we are just watching Oprah or making fun of Men – we’re being us. Just us….peas and carrots.

So today she’s 30 and I hope that she had a good day – that it was a good celebration of who she is – a wife, a friend, a mother, a sister, a woman…….here’s to the next 30 years and even the next 30 after that. We had a blast today with lunch at Baton Rouge and an hour or so of bowling – being goofballs like we’re good at…peas and carrots I tell you.

Sleep In?! What’s that?

My whole day was thrown off by an unexpected event this morning. My eyes must have blinked four times at the alarm clock as if the flashing 8:15 was impossible. I rolled onto my back and stared up at the ceiling half expecting that I would hear Jacob shouting up! up! up! from his crib. Instead I heard nothing. Not an ounce of sound if that’s remotely possible in this house. I’d like for you to believe that I rolled over and went back to sleep but what I really did was lay there for just an extra moment-think about going back to sleep-then hauled myself out of the bed because we all know that if something was wrong with Jacob and I didn’t check on him – I’d hate myself forever. I slumped out of the room sporting my super cool pooh bear jammies and snuck quietly into Jacob’s room – cursing his squeaky door as I allowed myself in!

JACKPOT! Jacob was curled up in his crib like an alcoholic curls up with their whisky – completely passed out! I didn’t make a peep but inside I was having my own fourth of july celebration (no I’m not American but we Canadians dont’ do holidays like they do)….I sauntered back to my bed and passed out for another half hour or so. I was awakened by the familiar up! up! up! and I knew it was over – but I was grateful for it while it lasted! I got to sleep in past 730! I haven’t done that for a long long time with Jacob home! It felt gooooooooood…..like ice cream tastes when it has caramel and whipped cream on it! Goooooooooooooood. Jacob slept from 730 p.m. until 8:45 AM! For all you non mathematical whizzes that’s 13 hours and 15 minutes! I’d like to believe that God loves me and was rewarding me for something!

I gotta say that our whole day was thrown off by this sleeping in business! I am use to getting errands done first thing on a Saturday morning but alas we did not make it out the door until 11 a.m. Our happy little family weekend routine was damaged…but I was okay with this kind of damage. I’ll take this damage every Saturday if Jacob so chose to give it to us.

Me like sleep…..

October Is Gone…..

I feel like I blinked my eyes and POOF October dissapeared from beneath me. It seems impossible that November is here and December is directly around the next corner. I have to find my breath when I think that Jacob will soon be 18 months old – I can’t believe it. October was one of those months where you have something planned at every possible moment….where you can’t get enough alone time to wipe your butt…I would think that the pre-mommy Melissa would find that dull, annoying, and exhausting – but despite the exhaustion, the stress….despite not having a moment to wipe my butt in solitude – I have to say I am perhaps the happiest I have ever been. Mommyhood is right for me in every possible way. I hate being tired but I love it – because it represents more then just an overworked woman – it represents a modern day mama doing it all and having it all. I have a career that I am good at….a spouse that I love deeply….and a son who is just amazing. I have family and friends and all that is good surrounds me. When you look at everything you have – it is impossible to be dissapointed by what you don’t have. You don’t have to have to be a home owner, or world traveller – it’s all secondary to the family circle.

The family circle..it extends to everything for us. It extends to our family who is there for us always…..to our friends who add wit and character to our lives….to our cat who snuggles and comforts us….to the community we are making such an effort to be a part of. Each of us impacts the other and vice versa. In celebration of the month of october I feel the urge to share pictures of some of our October Happy times!

Thanksgiving at the Zoo and Tuckers Marketplace with Nana, Papa, and Uncle Jimmy!


Playing and Learning Around the House!



Late Night Trips to the Park! (Late for us is 730 pm)


A Trip with Friends and Family to the Apple Orchard!




Jacob’s First Trick or Treat!

I see a lot in these photos. I see love, fun, family, togetherness, excitement….but more then anything else – I see hope for the future. In a world like this one we have to find hope somewhere and I find it there in these photos of my friends and family and the fun we have together – just because.