I’m in a crappy mood today despite waking up in a tremendously good mood. The day thus far has not progressed as I had hoped it would and I find myself full of moans and groans about things that just have been irking me. If you’ve been stalking reading my blog at all since it began you will probably note that I am not one to complain or whine about things going in my life and I’d rather focus on what’s good and enlightening at the moment, however today I think I’m going to take a step outside of normal and visit the abnormal for a moment or two if you don’t mind.
First of all, Mike installed this little baby growth widgit thing on the sidebar of my blog. Can you see it? It’s basically a little baby floating around in a globe that grows as each day progresses in your pregnancy. I’ve got to admit I thought it was kind of cute at first until one day I realized the thing has a really big long umbilical cord that often times looks like a giant penis protruding from between the baby’s legs and when it catches me completely by surprise it even looks like it’s going up into the baby’s mouth. It is completely FREAKING me out people….seriously, it is the creepiest thing I’ve seen in a while. Sadly, I’m too much of a bleeding heart and far too superstitious to remove the baby now, so globe baby will have to stay for the time being.
The next bit of news I’m not even sure how to process really but I’m trying to wrap my head around it in a way that makes sense to my pregnant exhausted brain. I heard via telephone from my father the other day that he is dying and that he wants to have a meeting with my mother, my brother and myself. Now, for those of you who don’t know me I will give you a bit of background information so that this all makes sense to you. My mother and father are divorced and have been for a lot of years (actually most of my life), anyways my father and I had a disconnected relationship for most of my life and have really been getting to know each other and growing closer since I became pregnant with my son….my mother and father tolerate each other when they “have” to be around one another because of something that has to do with my son i.e birthday, baptism, etc. So, I have to believe that my father is being serious when he says that he needs a meeting with my mother, brother and I because it’s just not his typical behavior to ask to hang out with my mom for a bit. Unfortunately, my father wasn’t willing to give any information over the phone but eventually my brother was able to get some information out of him and I guess what it is boiling down to is that my father is dying and is expected to live no longer then 2 years. I don’t know what he is dying of or why whatever illness is occurring can’t be fixed but I guess I won’t know more until we have this face to face meeting that he wants to have. Truthfully, I don’t know how to process this information exactly because I’m someone who needs to have ALL of the facts before making decisions about how I feel about something…that being said I would definitely not be happy if my dad was truly dying. When I was pregnant with Jacob, my grandmother got leukemia and nobody wanted to give me updates or information about her for fear that it might stress me out or cause me to go into labour or something crazy like that so this time I am putting my foot down and demanding that I know and understand everything that is going on at all times.
I guess the last thing that is really going on for me is how tired I continue to be during this second trimester of pregnancy. I have to admit that I really have narrowed down the culprit and I’m sad to say that it’s definitely my work schedule. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again but I really have always been and continue to be very fond of my job and the people I work with; the work we do with teenagers is really outstanding if you ask me. What’s difficult is how shift work plays into being pregnant and having a toddler at home….for example on many nights I work until 11:30 pm or 12am and don’t get home until 1am!! Of course by the time I settle into bed it’s after 1am and Jacob is up bright and early at 6-630 am the next day. I’m literally surviving pregnancy with 5-6 hours of sleep per night which is usually broken up by at least two late night bathroom visits. *sigh* I am continuing to trudge through the difficult hours but I’ve got to say that I am eagerly awaiting my August/September vacation. 4 more shifts and I’m off work for 2 whole weeks! I just want to give a shout out to Connie at work who has been generously giving me drives all the way home from work on the nights that I work with her! God bless you Connie! I can’t believe at all that she does this for me despite the fact that she lives just 5 minutes away by car and I live a half hour drive to my place and a half hour drive back to hers! I think I’ll have to reward her with a lunch out one day or some Tim Horton’s gift cards!
Lastly, I’d like to take a moment to groan about heartburn! Oh yes! I have had heartburn pretty much since the day I found out I was pregnant and nothing, absolutely nothing seems to be helping it go away. I am pretty much destined to fight this crappy feeling until the baby makes its appearance I think! ugg.
There you have it folks….those are my gripes. I feel better now so I suppose I will get off my worn and tattered soap box!