What I’ve Learned in the Past 24 Hours…

My father is indeed dying.  I do not talk much about my father but when he was younger (i.e before I was thought of) he had an accident while at work on a construction site and he broke his neck leaving him with all sorts of paralysis problems that he was eventually able to overcome with a fusion surgery on his C5 and C6 vertibrae in his spine.  It seems that his spine is deteriorating now at age 52 at a very rapid rate and he has no spinal fluid left (I am trying to remember everything so some details might be shaky).  So what does this mean?  Well, it means that my father is slowly dying, that over time he will eventually become immobile and then slowly each of his organs in his body will start to shut down until he dies.  I am kind of in a state of shock about all of this and trying to process it all so please forgive me if this is coming across as rather matter of fact.  Starting in October my father will have a home health care nurse and a housekeeper that will come in to see him from time to time and I can only imagine that at some point my brother and I (truly his only family in the vicinity) will need to step in and help take care of him.  It is unknown how long it will take for his body to go through this process but it could be up to 2-3 years or it could not be that long….we do not know.  It is frightening to think about how you survive watching a family member go through this sort of deterioration and perhaps it is selfish to think of yourself, about how you will survive it but it’s what I’ve thought about since i heard the news.  How do you put aside your own emotional health to witness the deterioration and eventually death of your parent.  I have young parents (my father is 52 and my mother is 49) and I always thought they’d stick around until well after their 70’s but every now and then the good old universe decides to give you a quick reality check….I just didn’t think it would be so shocking.

One thought on “What I’ve Learned in the Past 24 Hours…

  1. I’m very sorry. I know a little of what you are feeling right now since my dad has prostate cancer (granted my dad is over a decade older than yours, though!) and he is having surgery next month and until a few months after the surgery they won’t be sure they got it all. It’s really scary thinking about your parents aging and dying. Your family will be in my prayers.

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