A Smile That Goes On Forever

Dear Jacob…

Smiling Jake

Yesterday when we were at the apple farm there were a few moments where your dear old mom was really overwhelmed. I stood back watching you roam and play so independently and I wondered how the past two years could have gone by so quickly. I’m not sad that you keep getting older on me because every new thing in life that I get to experience with you is so awesome and enlightening. When I’m around you and watching you fall in love with the world it’s like I’m learning about it all over again with a new and vibrant perspective. I marvel at your desire to be social and it’s hard for me to believe that your Dad and I who are such shy people could have possible raised you to be so outgoing.  I got to thinking last night about all the wonderful things about you that I love and I pondered if there was perhaps something I loved best of all about you.  I thought about how loving and playful you are or how smart and well behaved you are but I soon realized that while I loved and appreciated those things about you very much they definitely were not my favorite.  I reflected back on all the hugs, the snuggles, and all the times I had to wipe away your tears because you were sad or mad or hurt and for the life of me I couldn’t pick just one favorite thing about you until this morning.  I was looking through our pictures at the farm yesterday and came across a picture where your face is lit up with a giant smile and it was at that moment I realized exactly what I love about you the most….your smile.  When you are happy….you are SO happy and yesterday I felt really discouraged about being out in the drizzling rain but somehow seeing how much you enjoyed the day reminded me that you can’t pick how the days are going to turn out but you can pick how you’re going to decide to live during that day – for some reason Jacob you always seem to chose happy over sad or mad and its during those time when you have that huge innocent smile plastered on your face that I fall more and more in love with you…as a mom, your mom….I look forward to every smile and even the frowns that come with the down times because I know that you have one of those smiles that goes on forever – sure it sometimes gets buried during hard moments but I know it will always come back.  I love you forever….


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