Now that I’ve entered my sixth month of pregnancy I’ve begun thinking about work and when I’ll plan to start my maternity leave. The past couple days as my evening shifts at the treatment center have dragged on with my exhaustion setting in around 7-8 pm I have pondered how long my body will be able to tolerate the war that I put it through on a daily basis. I wonder if there will come a time when my body will say enough is enough stop going to bed at 1am and getting up at 630am and I wonder if (with my stubborn personality) I’ll be able to recognize that it’s time to give my body a break. Ideally, I’d love to make it at work until the second week of January and then take two weeks of vacation time prior to starting my official maternity leave but I don’t know if my over worked body is going to have enough gasoline to complete the trip….for now I continue to focus on getting through the final months of pregnancy on an event to event basis. Next week we’re going to the apple farm and really looking forward to that so if I can make it to that then I’ve got another week down at work with the reward of great family time at the end of it. Over the next month we have a slew of other fun things planned like Thanksgiving, hitting up the pumpkin patch, and halloween which are all quickly followed by a week of vacation. Indeed, I think that is my goal….to function between the fun relaxing times with family.
I know that if I can find a way to be less exhausted in the evening I can stay at my job as long as possible provided the doctor doesn’t send me off early on sick leave like in my pregnancy with Jacob. I have a very high stress job but I’m grateful to work with a fabulous group of people who are very kind and considerate of my pregnancy. The other night when one of the youth in our program got aggressive and intimidating I felt myself hesitating to interact with them (which is NEVER my style ever) and my co-worker later told me that she wants me to feel okay with saying “I feel really uncomfortable because I’m pregnant” and at first I was really kind of reactive and wanted to defend myself…to shout out….no no! Pregnancy doesn’t affect my job ability but then afterwards I felt grateful that she would extend herself in such a way that I could feel ok saying to her “wow being pregnant in a high stress job can sometimes really make you feel worried”. I’m lucky that the people I work with are compassionate and caring and that we really are a team that will look out for each other. I think I’m also wise enough to be able to recognize when the functionning of my body is just too deteriorated that it makes staying up until 1am just to hard…so I guess the whole point of this blog post is to say that I’m doing ok and managing at work but that I’m hoping to recognize when its time for me to “hit the road” so to speak…for now I’m just pushing forward to the New Year.