Not Ready

It’s amazing how hard we’ve worked to try and get things in order before the baby comes and this pregnancy compared to Jacob’s we’ve had a lot of extra time to arrange and rearrange everything around our house.  The bags are packed and the baby’s room is well stocked but yet I have this strong feeling of not being ready.  I have been pregnant an extra two weeks in comparison to Jacob’s pregnancy and while I’m anxious to meet my daughter I still have this feeling that I could go on for another week or two and be perfectly content.  I think it has a lot to do with how good it makes me feel that this time everything is “proceeding as it should be” and it probably has a lot to do with the part of me that revolts the idea of the c-section.  The most ideal situation for me at this point would be to go into labor this weekend because I truthfully believe that my body can do it on it’s own….I feel different this time and I’m upset that maybe I didn’t fight hard enough to avoid the c-section.  I am scared and anxious about surgery in a way that I haven’t felt frightened in a really long time.  I am trying hard to keep my chin up this weekend and not focus on the worry so that I can enjoy some time with my family.  At the same time I am trying to get a few more things done around the house this weekend perhaps in an attempt to feel “more ready” or perhaps because it helps me to feel less worry….either way we’ve started doing laundry tonight and tomorrow Mike is going to paint the door on the baby’s room.  I think what it all boils down to for me at this point is that no matter how hard you try to prepare, plan, and organize for a baby coming home….nothing truly can give you that 100% ready feeling so I guess I have to just stop waiting for that feeling to come and get prepared to just jump in when she gets here.

2 thoughts on “Not Ready

  1. I am sure everything will work out as it should. I’m not sure we are ever truly ready to have our babies, though. Adrian was 12 days late and in labor I was thinking “I’m not ready to be the mother of four yet!”

  2. Melissa

    No matter how hard you prepare you are never ready.
    This time you are 100% more organized then you were with Jacob. Her room is ready and waiting for that beautiful baby to come home to. Sit back and enjoy the birth of your daughter and the rest of the time you have as a family of three as soon you will be a family of four..

    Love Mom

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