Today you turned one month old and I already feel like time is flying by far too fast. I look forward to everything we’re going to share together over the next little while but I want to experience and remember every moment of your infancy because it’s all so important to me.
I remember the moment you were born so vividly in my memory and I recall it every day because I never want to forget that moment when I first heard you cry, the moment they told me you were “just fine” and most importantly the moment that your Daddy brought you close to my left cheek and pressed your face close to mine and I whispered to you that I was your Mommy and that I loved you and waited for you for a really long time. The best memory of that day was when they brought me to the recovery room and we laid together in my bed with our bare skin touching each other. In that moment I could feel your heart beating against my chest and everything about you became very real and very dear to me…the next thing I remember is breast feeding you for the first time and cradling you close to me all the way upstairs to our hospital room.
Another happy moment during the past month was the exact point in time when you met Jacob. I could hear him coming down the hall of the hospital with his heavy winter boots making a dragging sound as he marched in to see you. I was hesitant and uncertain about what he might think of you since he had never needed to share his Mommy and Daddy before but when he entered the room he loudly proclaimed “that’s my sister!”. Now that you’ve been home for the last little while I’ve really enjoyed watching your brother interact with you…..”his baby” as he refers to you. You probably won’t ever be able to remember it so I’m going to document it here in this letter….Jacob loves to sit close to you and sing you the sweetest lullaby song that goes like this…
Butterfly, Lullaby…..Lullaby Lou….
Butterfly, Lullaby……Sweet Dreams to You.
There is so much about you that I am just getting to know and understand but I’ve discovered that you have a dimple in your left cheek. I am marveled by this dimple because they say that dimples are a genetic feature and there is nobody I can think of in our family that has this very same dimple…it’s your very own special gift and I can’t wait for the day you light up your face with a huge smile so that we can see that beautiful dimple even more. When you were born you weighed 7 pounds 13 ounces and were 20 inches tall and when we took you for your one month appointment at the pediatrician you weighed 8 pounds 6 ounces and 22.5 inches tall. Your weight gain has been slow and I’ll admit that in the beginning we were really worried about this but our doctor is no longer concerned and feels that you might just be a slow gainer…I just think you’re going to catch up between 2-4 months like your brother did.
This first month of life has not been without obstacles for you and unfortunately (thanks to your big brother) you have already endured your first cold which has not been a pleasant experience for you or Mommy. In the past week you’ve also been diagnosed with a reflux disorder that requires medication but you will hopefully outgrow it at some point like Jacob did. I have to admit to you that when you are feeling unwell I get so worried about you and try my hardest to do everything I can to make you feel better. I am very sorry that the reflux makes your tummy hurt… I hope you get some relief soon.
There is something about you that is so fascinating to me and I can’t quite put my finger on it just yet…I am certain it probably has much to do with the relationship between a mother and her daughter but I guess we will find out more as time goes on. You are so far a very affectionate and cuddly baby who definitely prefers being in our arms then in any type of “baby device” such as the bouncy chair or swing and I’m ok with that…I fall more and more in love with you every time you are asleep on my chest and our hearts are beating against each other. I’ve learned over the past month that you definitely will let us know if you need something to eat or if you have a poop in your diaper that needs to be changed….which is a very good thing since your brother didn’t care less about sitting in a poopy diaper when he was a baby and the only way we could tell there was poop in his diaper was to catch a smell! Every single day since you’ve been born you have had the hiccups at least once a day….which is so cute because when I was pregnant with you I could tell you had the hiccups every day in my belly too…gosh it seems like so long ago now that I was experiencing that little tap tap tap in my belly.
As I write this letter to you I am watching you sleep….you seem very unsettled and uncomfortable which tells me that your reflux is bothering you and it just breaks my heart. Despite the obvious discomfort you are experiencing….you still look perfectly beautiful as you sleep all curled up on your side just like you were in my belly. I am so happy that you are here with us now…. a part of our family and loved so much by everyone of us.
I love everything about you already and I know there is so much more to you that I get to experience. Thank you for coming into my life at the exact right moment in time…..
Thank you for being perfect just the way you are.
I love you