I don’t really have many friends that have children because for the most part I was the one that popped the first one out and a lot of our friends our still on the fence about when, if ever, they will have children. Thankfully, over my closest friend and her husband added a child to their family in July of 2007 and Lisa is currently pregnant with her second child and due in September of this year. The consequence of us being pregnant, then home with a newborn in back to back years was that we haven’t gotten a lot of opportunity to see each other – it also doesn’t help that we live about a half hour drive away from them..perhaps the rule truth might be that maybe we haven’t tried hard enough over the years…but we’re trying to change that now.
I never realized the importance of having other mommy friends until this past weekend when we were invited by our friends to dinner on Saturday. It’s generally hard for us to visit other people’s homes because we feel like we spend the majority of the our visit trying to keep Jacob away from their precious breakables or from a muck around their not so very baby/toddler proofed homes. The conversation when we visit the homes for friends or family without children tends to go something like this:
“So how are you guys doing? Jacob put that down!”
“How was your vacation? Did you enjoy the nice weather? Jacob get away from there please!”
“Oh that’s wonderful, what did you think of Grey’s Anatomy last week? Jacob leave that cat alone!”
“Sorry what did you say? No Jacob you can’t eat that fruit, it’s glass.”
As you can imagine it was very nice to take our kids to a home that was already baby proofed and where we didn’t feel like we needed to police him 100% of the time. When the night was over and both the kids were buckled in the back seat Mike and I both looked at each other, breathed a huge sigh of relief (or maybe relaxation) and remarked at the same time that we both had a really nice time and that we needed to do it more often. I’m not sure what exactly it was that made it so great but I think if I had to guess I’d say it was the combination of time spent with good friends and the overall feeling that we could just be who we are, let our son play without worry and our 3 month old cry if that’s what she felt she needed to do. I admit that I sometime feel judged by people without children and get frustrated by the ones that think children shouldn’t “make noise”….and let me tell you with a 3 year old, 2 year old, and a 3 month old in the house that night… it was noisy, chaotic and for me….the fact that nobody else cared because they “get it” was the icing on the cake.
Yes a good time was had by all I think – after dinner Lisa and I sat at the table chatting, Mike and Jim chattered about mostly geeky topics of no interest to Lisa or I, and the children just played….I ache to have more of these days and I hope that after experiencing it we are able to make it happen more often. I truly didn’t realize what I was missing out on until I finally indulged….having other mom’s to hang out with is an essential thing for me I think…it’s too bad that the baby club near us totally sucks but I’ll elaborate on that later this week….
For now, I can only hope that our dear friends enjoyed the time also and that because of it, more evenings of a similar nature are in our near future.