To my sweet angel face,
My darling Violet Grace…..
You’re a whole big 3 months old today and gosh you’ve changed so much since that very first moment when we met back in January. I should probably start off this letter by apologizing for giving you a bad “rep” when you first came home from the hospital. I thought that you were going to be one of those babies that demanded a lot of attention, that constantly cried, and never slept at night but you’ve definitely proven otherwise in the past two months. You’ve definitely set out to prove to us that our opinions and ideas about you were completely wrong because in the last little while you have been such a beacon of sunshine.
I got to thinking the other day about how you were almost taken away from us before we even met you. I think it’s a good story for you to know one day, about how your dad and I knew that you were safe in my tummy all snuggled in for the journey of being born, despite what the ultrasound technicians had to say….they told us that you were not there, that you had not developed, that we were in fact losing you…..they told us you were most likely what they call a “blighted ovum” – they were wrong….so very wrong and just before they wanted me to take those darn pills that would make it all be over, Mommy and Daddy made sure we got a second opinion. I was so hopeful that we’d find you there, growing and thriving, and I was sad that I might never get to meet you, but Daddy was the source of my strength, telling me every day that we’d find you and that he just knew you were there waiting to meet us too. I wept with joy and relief the moment the ultrasound technicians (it took two to finally find you) turned the screen to show me your tiny little beating heart…I will never forget that moment, ever because not only did I know that I was going to meet you one day, but I also got a strong feeling in my heart that day, that you would be a girl – I felt instantly bonded to you, I knew that I would love you forever.
There is so much to love about you already but what I am loving most these days is the way your face just shines when you smile so wide, as if your face was made to do it. You have this way of smiling with your whole face that makes me melt and I have no choice but to return the smile….we could go on and on in this exchange of smiles all day – You are definitely full of life, to that there is no doubt. Over the last little while I’ve also been enjoying our conversations and while its just sweet ohhs and ahhs that escape your lips, I’m inhaling them as if you’re telling me the most important tales of your life – I’m so enraptured by everything that you do, every sound you make, and every spit bubble that you release from those tiny lips of yours. Recently, you really started taking a keen interest in the things that surround you…you’ve reached for toys and have been able to get them into the grasp of your curled fingers, perhaps by accidents but it’s been important nonetheless. Every now and then I’ll lay you down for a moment beneath the mobile n your crib, and you react when you look up with your giant eyes as you do with most things, with a giant smile; I think the mobile with its dancing flowers of pink, white and green is perhaps your most favorite thing right now.
Your brother has suddenly fallen head over heels in love with you, and any time that someone jokingly suggests taking you off to their house to live with them…he will actually cry real tears of worry that he might never see you again. I’m looking forward to watching as your relationship with Jacob grows over the next few months and years even – I just think you’re so lucky to have him as a brother, the same way that I feel lucky to have both of you as my children. Over the next couple of months you’re really going to get to know him and I hope you enjoy every moment.
I recently fell in love with a song byJim Brickman and Lady Antebellum that speaks clearly about some of the wishes and hopes I have for you and I plan to share it with you one day but for now here are a few lines from the song – please know that I wish all of these things for you Violet, and so much more, so very very much more…
May the angels protect you, trouble neglect you, and Heaven except you when its time to go home. May you always have plenty, your glass never empty and know in your belly…you’re never alone.
May your tears come from laughing, you find friends worth having, with every year passing they mean more then gold. May you win but stay humble, smile more then grumble, and know when you stumble you’re never alone.
Never alone, never alone….I’ll be in every beat of your heart when you face the unknown. Wherever you fly, this isn’t goodbye…my love will follow you, stay with you, baby you’re never alone.
Well I have to be honest, as much as I wanted I’m not going to promise that cold winds won’t blow..so when hard times have found you, and your fears surround you, wrap my love around you, yo’ure never alone.
I hope you always keep that beautiful smile.
Chin up and eyes open sweet girl, the world is yours.