I was trying to squeeze in a shower before That Daddy Guy left this morning because I’m pretty sure that I was smelling of sour milk and spit up. These days I’m lucky if I can get a shower in every two days so I was quite relieved to turn on some hot water and simply let it beat down on my back for a few moments – quiet alone time moments. I was just about to take a deep breath in and get totally into my relaxation mode when I heard a rustling of the shower curtain followed by the following:
What followed afterward might very well be a scene taken directly from a “Mommy Horror” movie as I pulled back the shower curtain to find That Daddy Guy holding up a very naked nearly 3 year old covered in POOP. Mike hesitated to make eye contact with me as the dreaded words “can he come in the shower with you” spilled from his lips…and I think its because he knew that if he locked eyes with mine, he’d see the desperation, the “please no”, the “I just need five minutes look”. It only took a second before Jacob was thrust into the shower with me and I was leaning over him cleaning the crap from his butt, legs and feet as he loudly protested. I wanted to say “listen kid, it might be cool with you to hang out covered in poop all day but I’ve got to smell you and while it might seem cool now…when you get to school next year it’s not going to be so fashionable anymore” but instead I just reassured him that the shower (which he hates) would be over soon and he could get on to more fascinating things like Wonder Pets and Train tables…all the while reminding him that Mommy would really love if he’d learn to poop on the potty – pretty please?!
When I was completely confident that all the crap had been hosed off, I hollered for Mike and stuck my outstretched arms out of the shower with a sopping wet toddler hanging from them. After Mike came to collect him, I took that deep breath and attempted to relax again but realized that it now required too much effort – my mommy day had begun and my Melissa time was gone so I quickly finished showering, climbed out of the tub, threw on some clothes and started going down the stairs….
Only to find out that the brilliant idea about teaching your son to go down the carpeted stairs on his bum for safety purposes…..
Really backfires when he has crap leaking out of both sides of his pull up.
It’s going to be a really good day, I can feel it.