How to Meet a Mall Santa 101: By Violet Grace
1. Wear a pretty outfit, you’re a diva after all right?
2. When mommy tries to put you down to take pictures in the decor that matches your outfit, happily protest by grabbing for her boob.
3. Watch that odd looking Man in the red suit reading story time from afar.
4. Listen to mommy go on and on about how angry she is that she had to take Jacob to two, yes TWO places to get his hair cut and how a hair cut for a three year old should NEVER, I said NEVER EVER cost 42.00!!!!
5. If you see your brother doing this, NOW is the time to flee! You are being set up!
6. Sit very still, maybe he won’t look or talk to you.
7. ABORT ABORT!!! He knows my name!!!! ESCAPE PLAN! ESCAPE PLAN!!
8. Stop talking to me you strange Man!!!
9. PLAN B! PLAN B! PLAN B!! MUST ESCAPE!
10. Don’t you fools ever do that to me again. You hear me? Now lets get some food.