December, 2008:

It was really nice today to go out with my co-workers for our annual Christmas luncheon and I especially enjoyed the conversation that wasn’t entirely focused on parenting, family, pregnancy, etc. I think the social part of work is what I miss the most when I am not there….the way that you can suddenly be connected and disconnected from everything that goes on at home at the same time. It was just so nice to sit down for a nice lunch and chat about what was new in all of our lives. I wasn’t planning on going since I haven’t really been getting out much by myself since my “passing out” episode at the mall but I took a risk and it paid off because it really felt nice to be out and about on my own. Michael from work gave us a beautiful hand made hat for the baby that he got at the One of a Kind Craft Sale here in Toronto! It’s so cute but I woudln’t expect anything else from Michael because he has really great taste! I am looking forward to going back to work for my “maternity goodbye” in the new year and seeing everyone again….like I’ve said already it’s really nice to chat with other adults who have some things in common with you other then parenting.

We thought of a new name idea today for baby girl and it’s far different from any other name we’ve considered yet. In the past Mike and I had jokingly said this name out loud but we’ve never considered it until today…and it’s definitely growing on us. The problem has been that we are quite fond of names that everyone seems to be fond of too and we’ve never been those kookie people who considered something completely crazy when it came to naming children…we definitely have always been drawn to very simple quaint names especially names with a biblical connection of some sort because of their strong roots and significance. I have to admit this name is not the most simple and it is definitely not biblical but we like it so for now it is added to the list. I have been thinking about this name all morning and pondering the ways it cold be short formed, trying to think of ways kids might make fun of it and truthfully I’m not coming up with anything too horrible. I think we have to put our foot down now and say no more adding names to the list…we need to eliminate now so that we can get down to 2 or 3 before the baby is born….Once we see her, then we’ll decide.

A few people have asked recently what we need for the baby because they wanted to get us gifts for the new baby and I’ve been trying to go through what we do have so that I can offer a good list of ideas but its really hard! What I do know is that we do NOT need the following:

Clothes – Size 0-3 (Between my mother and I we really stocked up on these when we were at Carters)
Receiving Blankets – I bought a couple new ones and we had some unopened from Jacob
Crib Sheets
We do not need any of the big equipment since we’ve saved it all from when Jacob was little or we’ve already received it as gifts from other people.(i.e Exersaucer, Highchair, Stroller, Car Seat, Basinette).

So I guess if I had to make a list of what we do need I would say:

Clothes – size 3-6 Months for spring and 6-12 months for summer
Bottles – We are giving the Dr. Brown’s Bottles a go this time.
Diapers – size 1 or 2 ( we are using either swaddlers or kirkland brand)
Dishwasher Rack for Nipples and Bottles

I can’t think about anything else right now because I’m not very good at coming up with ideas for gifts and truthfully nobody needs to buy us a darn thing….everyone has been so generous in our lives as it is and we definitely are in a good position with this baby….

6 more weeks at most until baby number 2 arrives! Time is definitely going slower now for me which I’m sure has a lot to do with getting into that tired again stage of pregnancy. Being 32 weeks pregnant is a very pivotal time for me because it is the time that I started to experience fluid problems with Jacob that eventually resulted in his early delivery. For the most part this pregnancy has felt nothing like Jacob’s pregnancy which was very overwhelming and anxiety filled from day one. I’d like to believe that throughout this pregnancy I’ve been far more laidback (although more hormonal) about the little aches and worries of pregnancy. By this point in Jacob’s pregnancy I had been to labor and delivery twice and I havent been once this pregnancy which to me seems remarkable…maybe its a sign that we’ll carry the baby right up to the delivery date this time around. I have my next appointment a week from today and then two weeks after that I’m having my bio-physical profile to see how the fluid around the baby is doing and to see if she’s practicing breathing like she’s supposed to in preparation for our c-section at 38 weeks 1 day….of course if any concerns come up between now and then I could end up with a bio-physical profile ultrasound earlier then 35 weeks…..we’ll just have to wait and see I guess.

Aside from feeling pretty tired I’m not doing so bad on the pregnancy “symptoms” side of things. I try to sit down when I can to put my feet up and so far I have no swelling in my hands, face or feet and my blood pressure seems to be hanging in there. I can feel the baby growing because my hips and pelvis are definitely a bit sore but nothing too unmanageable. I am hoping that I can continue feeling this good until after Christmas because I need some energy to finish up my place, get the baby’s room ready, finish Christmas shopping and have enough gusto to have an enjoyable holiday. I don’t think any plans are in the work to do the baby’s room until after the holiday so I don’t have to really worry or stress about that right now…add to that the fact that she’s sleeping in our room for the first while and all is well. Last week I was able to sit down and pick out the colors for the nursery and I think I’ve picked out a cute combination. Overall, I think we’re really good to go and despite the fact that nothing is set up yet I think I feel like everything is in place and if baby should arrive earlier then anticipated all will be well.

I am trying to rack my brain for other tests that need to happen before my c-section and the only test that comes to mind was the group B strep test but I’m almost certain I don’t need to have that test when I’m having a c-section. Does anyone know?

All in all, it’s another week down and 6 more weeks to go at most!

I loved my old Christmas tree because it was large, beautiful, majestic even and I have had it for 5-6 wonderful years as my companion during the holidays. The tree was purchased at Costco when it was on sale for a totally awesome price making the tree seem even more perfect. Every Christmas we’ve been hauling out this huge 7.5 foot Christmas tree and finding space to have it around and every Christmas I remember why I love it so much…because of how big and beautiful it is when it’s lights are sparkling. This year we’ve moved to a bigger place with 10 foot cielings and I was so psyched to pull out my fabulous Christmas tree and get it set up but I was very disapointed when Mike hauled it out and we discovered just how much space it was going to take up in our larger but differently shaped living room. The tree was just too massive, too majestic, too large for our tastes in this new place and to add only more fuel to the fire the pre-lit lights had burned out and would need to be replaced. For a moment I wanted to cry because I wanted MY tree to be in my new living room and I wanted my whole 4 person family to experience that tree next year but sadly it is not to be. After some thought we decided we would replace the Christmas tree for a beautiful but smaller Christmas tree and so off to Canadian Tire we went in search of the perfect tree for our new place and our new family. I didn’t realize how expensive Christmas tree’s are these days….but after some thought we settled on a Noma 6.5 foot self forming tree whose diameter was a mere 49 inches – our old tree was 61 inches in diameter….at least. There were moments throughout the evening where we contemplated a real Christmas Tree but my allergies to the vast majority of Christmas Trees prevented us from taking the plunge….I seriously considered suffering with the allergy symptoms for the sake of a nice new tree but then I thought this year is not the right year since I am unable to take any reliable form of allergy medication while pregnant.

Our new tree is different but it has more of a home feel now rather then that majestic feeling of the old tree…but feelings of home are a good thing. The tree stands in our window now, without decorations until tomorrow but it is the perfect tree for our family…it is charming and reminds us that the glory and majesty of our old large tree is not what Christmas is all about…the true meaning of Christmas is about the glory and majesty of Christ and His birth, and to that no tree can compare.

I’ve been laying pretty low the last couple of days just trying to relax because I’ve been having a lot of braxton hicks contractions and I’ve had a couple today but I think I am going to set a few goals for what needs to get done this weekend. We have a few obligations this weekend including a skating lesson, Santa Experience, and Jacob’s portrait session tomorrow but other then that I’d like to get a few things done around the house.

I’d like to get started on the decorations for Christmas including the tree and the lights outside of our house – so in order to get those two things accomplished I first need Mike to pull the tree out of storage and then I need him to set it up. Yesterday Mike promised me he’d put the lights up outside of the house so I think I’ll ask him to do that while Jacob naps today. I’d also like to make a grocery list for our big Christmas shop so that we don’t buy too much stuff that we don’t need. Lastly, I’d like to unpack a few more boxes around the house but more specifically I’d like to get our own bedroom finished since it’s been neglected over the past couple of days and I dont’ want it to get all disorganized!

If I can get those things started this week then I think next week Mike and I can start tackling the boxes that are in the storage room and I can start going through Jacob’s old clothes to see what’s consignable and what is not. Next weekend we have a holiday christmas party to attend and I need to finish my Christmas shopping….of course if my MOTHER would just give me some darn ideas for Christmas presents it would all go a lot easier.

I never did labour and delivery the right way with Jacob if there is actually a right way to do things. I sat stunned in my 35.5 week appointment when the doctor said it was time to deliver the baby by induction. I was in a state of shock when he said go home and get your bags and we’ll see you back at the hospital in an hour and a half. Huh? Get my bags? What bags? I did not have any “bags” yet, in fact I did have SOME bags…about 40 of them sitting on my living room floor filled with presents from my baby shower that was just 2 days prior….but bags for the hospital were not to be found. I remember the car ride home as vividly as I remember the pain from my c-section…thoughts roared through my head as I fixated on this bag I was supposed to pick up. I recall thinking to myself that it shouldn’t be too hard, I mean I’ve been away from home overnight before right? We got into the house and I stared at the walls perplexed about how a baby could be coming home to a crib that was still in the box and clothes that were not washed and somehow I let other people pack the bag for me…things are going to be so different this time around.

I can prepare for this delivery in a way I could not and did not prepare for Jacob’s….January 20th at 1130 am I just need to walk into the hospital and say let’s get this baby out. I can pack my bag knowing that I’m not going to be in the hospital for 24 hours but rather 3-5 days and this time Mike won’t have to make a million trips home for the things I needed but had forgotten, and this time I won’t have a million things in the bag that I had remembered but didn’t need. I can plan for 2-3 pairs of pyjama’s because I remember thinking at the hospital how I just wanted clean pyjama’s…and how great it felt to put on a fresh pair of jammies after my evening shower. Of course, I desperately need pyjama’s because I haven’t gotten any new ones since last Christmas and right now those are too small on my waist – I’d like to get 2 pairs of cotton pull on pants pyjama’s and one night dress…I still have my beautiful comfy house coat my mom got me when I was pregnant with Jacob so I plan to bring that. I’d like it if Mike could make my ipod work before the delivery because I think listening to some calming music while I wait to go into surgery will really help focus me but there’s very little chance that will happen so I am not counting on it. I know I don’t need to pack diaper cream or bath wash or any of that jazz for the baby this time because everything we needed for the baby was available to us with Jacob including diapers so I’m not overly focused on that stuff….I’d like to bring some sleepers and 2-3 outfits so the baby can be nice and snuggly for the couple days that we are in hospital.

What it all boils down to is simplicity…I’d like a very small hospital bag/diaper bag….I really don’t think we all need the big lists that are floating around on the internet…I just want the few items that make me feel clean and comfy. Comfy is where it’s at in terms of recovery so that’s what my goal is all about!

Today I’m officially 31 weeks pregnant and I’ve got to say so much has changed in just one short day! I’ve been trying to wrap my head around my doctor’s appointment for the past few hours and I think I’m really in a state of shock at how fast your plans for child birth can change.

I am feeling really achy this week in my back and pelvic area which I am sure has to do with the fact that in the past couple of weeks the baby has started to really grow and of course I’m sure the move had a lot to do with it too. It’s not unmanageable pain by any means and as I’ve said in previous posts its just all par for the course of pregnancy so it is nothing unexpected. I continue to have heartburn in the evenings and the occasional bout of nausea when I can feel the baby in my upper stomach but I’ve been managing and truthfully can’t complain. The biggest difficulty right now is that I continue to have difficulty sleeping at night but usually if I am able to find time for a nap mid-afternoon I am able to get 2 hours of solid sleep based upon how long Jacob sleeps. I know the sleep situation is only going to get worse as the pregnancy progresses and that once the baby comes I’ll be sleeping a lot less too so once again…I can’t complain right? So much more could be going wrong and the fact that everything seems a-ok means I don’t have the right to complain!

Today was my 31 week appointment with my OB/GYN and it was so bizarre….his thoughts on my VBAC had totally changed since the previous appointment 3 weeks ago. Apparently, he got the NICU discharge papers from Jacob’s stay and he feels that it’s too risky to attempt a VBAC. The note from the NICU says that Jacob’s facial fractures and respiratory problems were the result of Cephalic-Pelvic Disproportion….which I guess means baby is too big for the pelvic bone. I had already researched this since I had heard that many times it’s not really true that they just say that to convince you to take the c-section…so I questionned my OB about it and he felt that after 96 hours of labor and being unable to progress past 7 cm dilated that it was probably the case that I had “true” cephalic-pelvic disproportion so he measured my pelvic bone and felt that I had a really small one and since we are not “yet” having fluid problems like we had with Jacob he feels that this baby will be bigger then 6 pounds….so he doesn’t feel its safe for baby to proceed with a VBAC…..

I’ve got to admit I was kind of shocked….he seemed so on board with it last appointment but I am definitely able to see where he is coming from….I am just coming to terms with the fact that things won’t go according to my plan I guess. I know this hospital is VERY pro VBAC so I don’t feel he is trying to con me into it because I am very clear on his opinion that he always feels mom’s should attempt a VBAC if possible….I just want the baby to be ok and not have the same problems as Jacob so I understand the need for the c-section….I’m just needing a few hours to feel sorry for myself that I’ll have to have the longer recovery again…my hope is to be out of the hospital in 3 days this time instead of 6 days. I admit that I did have a remarkably easy recovery from my c-section last time and the only reason I stayed in hospital is because Jacob was there.

So, unless we start having any mysterious fluid problems like I did with Jacob that causes the baby to come earlier…..the baby will be born on January 20th at 1130am. It’s kind of freaky to know the exact date and time that you are scheduled to go in……

I’m really scared about the spinal and going through this whole c-section experience again….last time I had my epidural wear off mid section and it was the most excruciating pain I’d ever experienced in my whole life…..and as a result I’m sure I have a bit of PTSD…please pray for me that everything will go smoothly and I’ll be able to make it through complication free….and a prayer for peace of mind wouldn’t be so horrible too…

Other then all of that….my BP was good, urine was good, and I had gained one more pound….at my growth ultrasound last week baby girl was measuring a few days ahead this time, instead of right on target. In the next couple of weeks I’ll be starting to have weekly bio-physical profile ultrasounds as I expected to measure the fluid levels of the baby and make sure everything is comfy cozy in the womb. I have come to terms with the idea of a repeat c-section because in the end a healthy baby is what I want and the goal of this pregnancy has always been healthy mommy and healthy baby…I would be selfish to think that this whole experience was about me.

There you have it folks….this has perhaps been the most eventful week of pregnancy for me but still nothing too crazy or over the top! At this point in my pregnancy with Jacob I had been to labor and delivery twice already and we’re sitting at zero visits this time!